I can’t promise to take the pain away, But you can know I won’t stop trying

         
     When I became a mother, I became a worrier. My mother and father always told me, "You will never understand how much I love you until you have a child for your own." There is no truer statement. Connor is such a joy in my life, and every day is full of excitement, fun, love, and laughter. But..., when my baby is sick, all I do is worry. Last Wednesday, after almost a week of him coughing and being sick, I decided it was time to go to the doctor. His snot was pretty green, and he was very wheezy. We went to the doctor, and we found out that Connor has Bronchitis. The doctor did a breathing treatment and said that he sounded better afterwards, so she sent him home with a nebulizer with albuterol and amoxicillin for a sinus infection. Phew, I felt so relieved that I took him to the doctor. Adam had also picked up a humidifier for Connor on Tuesday so that we could try to break up his congestion, but that obviously didn't do the trick. I started him on the nebulizer Wednesday afternoon, and I gave it to him every 4 hours, but it wasn't doing much to help. Finally, by Thursday afternoon, I couldn't take it anymore. I called Adam and told him to come home because we were taking Connor to the ER. He had thrown up twice from coughing, and he was wheezing very bad. We ended up in the ER by 5:30 p.m., and they took us right back. They don't mess around with that, and he was given 6 breathing treatments in less than 2 hours. By 8 pm, we were admitted into Pediatrics. I was exhausted, Adam was exhausted, and my poor baby was exhausted and felt horrible. Even though Connor was exhausted, he was hyper as shit from the albuterol. He was jumping out of my arms, so I put him in his metal crib at the hospital and he was running in circles around the crib. It was hilarious, but I was still so worried. We were finally settled in and starting breathing treatments around the clock, every 4 hours and checking his vitals. We didn't "settle" down until midnight, and they had switched Connor to Xophenox (thank God). Connor slept in my arms, but I just sat there, listening to him wheeze. I couldn't sleep. I think I finally got about 2 hours of sleep, and put him in his little crib since the nurses were coming in so often. The next day was basically just for the nurses to watch him. Adam went home to grab us some stuff and I was running on Coffee and that's about it. I fed Connor sweet potatoes and apple sauce, and about 2 minutes later he threw ALL of it back up on me and him. I just started bawling, but he seemed okay. We decided formula was the best choice since he kept that down, and he started to progress. We were able to come home today after 2 nights in the hospital, and I am still nervous about his breathing, but he is MUCH better. I'll tell you what, being a mommy is the most rewarding job I will ever have, but it is also exhausting and scary. Seeing your child in pain is heartbreaking, and I hope we don't have to step foot in that hospital for a very, very long time!