2 months!!!

 

    Connor is 2 months old, and I have no idea where those 2 months went!?  At his 2 month checkup today he weighed 11 lbs 3.5 oz and is 22.5 inches long. Less than 2 weeks ago he was 9 lbs 13 oz. We knew he hit a growth spurt though. He filled out quickly. Gah, I love him!! He had to get shots today though :'( He cried and I cried, and he has been one very cranky baby all day long. He slept from 12-3 and now he back asleep after a bottle. Poor baby. Tomorrow we are going to get him an ultrasound on his belly and cheek. The spots I was talking about in previous posts. The Doctor thinks they are deep hemangiomas or simply a birthmark under the skin. The only thing is that they grow. His cheek hasn't changed at all. I don't think that is anything... maybe a fat deposit. But the one on his belly has grown a little, and the doctor just wants to rule out a hernia. I got really upset, but I'm not going to get myself all worked up because she didn't seem concerned at all, and told me it's nothing to worry about.. (yeah right?! I worry enough as it is, so when I have to take him for an ultrasound, I'm going to worry)! I'll update when we get results. I also had to pick up some Aveeno baby lotion and some special powder because the "lavender night time" Johnson's lotion gave Connor a little rash. Adam and I both have sensitive skin, so it makes sense that Connor will have sensitive skin too. I rubbed the powder and lotion on him after his bath earlier and it already looks better. I also have to take my walks earlier or later in the day because he has a little heat rash on his back from sweating in his car seat. BUT other than that, he is a very healthy, growing little 2 month old. The Doctor said he is in the 30th percentile for height and weight and 70th percentile for his head. hahaha He's just really smart, right?? :) I'm so happy he is doing so well on the big boy charts since he was a preemie. And she said at his 4 month appointment we will talk about solids! Connor has really found his voice! He has been cooing and squealing at us lately, and it is ADORABLE. He smiles a lot and follows us with his eyes when we leave him. He has quite the personality and is growing too fast! OH, and he is SO CLOSE to rolling over. Pammy came last week and captured Connor rolling from his tummy to his side.

Each new stage is bittersweet. I love watching him learn new things, but I hate how fast he is growing up! Adam's parents and sister are coming to visit Wednesday through Monday. I'm excited to have visitors. I need to clean though, and I haven't been able to get anything done today with my little grumpbox. Oh well... there's always tomorrow! Then I'm going to VA July 9-16. I'm nervous to see how Connor does on the flight. Hopefully he'll just sleep with the motion. We shall see! Pammy's visit was great! I loooved having her here. It was SO nice, and I miss her so much. I'm ready to be with friends and family again... 33 months. Yikes!

8 weeks and Father's Day!

        Aunt Pammy comes tomorrow through Friday, so I'm gonna go ahead and update today. The formula has officially made Connor a very happy baby! So, that is what he is going to stay on! Today is Father's Day and of course Adam has to do some work, but then we are doing whatever he wants which consists of drinking a beer and watching "Sons of Anarchy." haha, if that's what he wants. Connor and I got up this morning and went to McDonald's to get coffee for me and daddy :) Then, Connor and I played while Adam slept in. Connor is so close to rolling over. He gets so worked up on his tummy time playmat. I love watching him. Last night we discovered that Connor LOVES getting his hair brushed. He was smiling and cooing. Obviously we brush his hair everyday, but last night I was brushing for a while becauseeee... Connor had a little bit of Cradle Cap. So another tip for Mommys - Do NOT use the "head to toe" baby wash on your baby's head/hair. We have been doing that since that's what they did in the hospital, so I read that using actual baby Shampoo can clear it up. Just so you know, it does! Friday night we used baby shampoo and noticed a huge difference, and then last night I used it and it started flaking, so I was able to brush most of it out. Now, it's all cleared up. Connor has gotten a lot more vocal lately.. Yelling at me and smiling when I look at him. He loves attention, and gets really mad if we don't pay attention to him for a minute. haha. Connor is in 0-3 months all the way now. His newborn clothes don't fit him unless we stretch them way out. I can't believe how big he is getting, and how much he is learning. He's been doing great in his crib. Last night he slept with mommy and daddy though. Hey, that was Adam's doing! haha. Anyway, This week I found out that my sister, Bonnie and her husband Daryl, are having a baby GIRL! Yay, I get a NIECE! I'm so excited for them! Congratulations ya'll :)

Happy Father's Day Adam - Connor is so lucky to have you as his Daddy <3

7 weeks!

 

      Ahhh! Connor is getting SO big. We went to the Doctor on Monday, and he weighed 9 lbs 13 oz.  Well, the formula seems to be making him a MUCH happier baby. I did my homework, and I think he has a sensitivity to lactose, and I read that the sugar in my breastmilk may be too much for him. I continued pumping, but I'm slowly drying up. His pediatrician told me that I could re-introduce breast milk to him when he's 6 month because they usually outgrow their lactose intolerance at that age. It sounds like a great idea, and I have a lot of milk frozen, but it's really hard pumping constantly to keep my supply up. I really enjoyed nursing him. :( I am going to re-introduce what I have frozen when he's older, however. I wish I could do it longer, but even Adam (who preferred me to breastfeed) looked at me on Sunday and said "keep giving him formula." Connor is so happy and while he still has gas, it is NO WHERE near how bad it was before. I mean, he would scream after I fed him.. and really anytime he was awake. Now, he will just sit there with us. He has his fussy days, but that's a baby for ya. Yesterday he stayed up from 3-9:30. At 9:30 we put him down in his crib and he was out! He didn't fuss at all. Then he woke up at 3, 6 and then for good at 8:30. I am so proud of him :) That was our first night that he stayed in his crib after 5 a.m., and didn't fuss about it. We went to the Doctor Monday because he has a lump/bruise about 2 inches below his belly button that he has had since he was born, and when he gets angry it gets more prominent. I, of course, freak out and take him in, and the Doctor said it feels like a fat deposit because it isn't hurting him and it isn't a hernia. SO, we just have to keep an eye on it, but it doesn't bother him at all. The Dr. Brown's bottles are magnificent. Those work the best for him. He still has the reflux, so he spits up still, but it isn't as bad and those bottles help. He's eating 3.5 - 4 oz every 3 hours! I feel like that's alot, but if he wants it, I'm feeding it to him! Some days he eats every 2.5 hours, and a couple days ago he ate 6 oz at once!! But yesterday he was back at 3.5 oz so it honestly just depends on the day and how hungry he is. As you can see in the pictures, I bought him a Bumbo yesterday, and he loves it! hahaha It was too funny watching him laugh when I put him in it. He is seriously so much happier. :) He played with his feet yesterday, and he is constantly putting his hands in his mouth. He even grabs stuff.. likeee my hair. He discovered that he can yank that too. Yayy? ha!

Facing reality..

      It has been 7 weeks since Connor joined this world, and while I posted the birth story and have raved about being a mother, I have failed to express how I felt about his birth. Obviously, I had a C-section, and while I may sound selfish in this post, these are the emotions I had to deal with. I HATED the C-section. It was not what I had "planned," and I was so miserable for weeks afterward. I envisioned a completely different experience. After all, I was there for my best friend's labor and delivery, and while I know she was in a lot of pain, it was so incredible. I wanted that. I wanted the contractions, pain, water breaking, and I wanted to push my baby out the way that God intended. My body failed me, and it failed Connor. I think I finally worked up the nerve to post my true feelings because I have been hearing some horror stories lately, and I realized that Connor is here, he's safe, and I'm safe. However, I am going to admit that I envy women who get to have "normal" vaginal births. I'm finally starting to get over the feelings of failure because when I look at Connor I realize that God answered my prayers and got him here safe. Here is something I found on someone else's site, and I think it sums it up for me:

"It is the only scar whose creation saved two lives instead of one, and they are the physical sign of a mother's willingness to do anything for her children."

I may not have had the perfect labor experience, but I have a perfect bundle of love and life. Maybe I didn't get a "normal" experience, but when do I ever do anything "normal" anyway? I have been formula feeding Connor because of his stomach issues, and he's a happier baby these days. Did I want to do that?... No. But I realize that everything I do is for him and his best interest. Maybe I don't like it, but it's not about me. It's about him.. from birth until forever. So for all you mommies out there, whether you have a C-section or a Vaginal delivery, or you breastfeed or bottle feed, you are still very much a woman. We carried our babies for 9 months (maybe more, maybe less), but we bonded the same and no matter how they come out, the love you feel for your child will be the same. I can't imagine my life without Connor in it. Here's to being a mommy! :)

6 weeks old

 

   6 weeks old!!! Where does the time go? I feel like I had Connor yesterday, and he's already been here 6 weeks. Well, last night we tried the crib and Connor did great!! I put him in the crib around 8, and fed him at 10 when Adam got home for work (yeah, he works 15 hr days most of the time). So, he went down for the night around 8, woke up to eat at 10, 2, and 5. He slept in it after each feeding until 5, when he got fussy. He usually gets fussy around 5 a.m after he eats, so he went in the bed with me until 8. But, I did better than I expected. I've been preparing myself for it over the past few weeks, so think it was easier. As for his reflux... it's still much much better. However, he keeps going 2,3, even 4 days without pooping. It freaks me out, and then he'll poop enough for those past few days he hadn't pooped! I read that it is pretty normal and when I brought it up to the DR a couple weeks ago, she acted like it was no big deal. But, he has really, really bad gas still. I'm still breastfeeding, so it's really hard on me when I feel like all I do is hurt my baby's tummy. SO, today I bought formula. Similac's sensitivity formula. I'm just going to give him some over the next couple of days and pump while I give him the formula to see if it helps at all. I want to breastfeed him until he's a year old, but if he is in agony then why would I put him through that?? I know his stomach is more sensitive than most babies since he was preterm, but I still can't help but feel like I'm failing him somehow. I've learned that I need to stop comparing my baby and my parenting with other peoples' though. I just have to do what is best for him and for me. When he's crying because he has gas, it stresses me out too. I finally stopped using the nipple shield too! Nursing has become really easy and convenient for me. I am going to try the formula and see how it affects him. If it makes him feel a lot better then so be it, but if it doesn't then I know it isn't me. I cut out all dairy, and I've been watching what I eat, but no such luck! The reflux makes him spit up a lot too, but I am trying the Dr. Brown's bottle out to see if it helps with that. I will update next week with all of it. He's way better than he was a few weeks ago, but still a little cranky. Let's see if we can kick the crankiness! We tried Connor in the pool Saturday! He hated it, but I woke him up for it, so of course he was like "what the hell, mom?!" haha Here are some pics!

 

As for me... I'm still about 3 lbs away from pre-pregnancy weight! The last 5 lbs are killing me, but I've started walking my booty off, so that should help too! Nursing really helped knock off the pounds, but once I'm to my pre-pregnancy weight, I want to lose 10-15 more pounds. Bleh.

5 weeks old

 

 5 weeks old! Unbelievable.. It's June! Where did May go?! Well, the Zantac seems to be helping tremendously with Connor's Acid Reflux! I'm pretty sure it started working the day we put him on it. I've been propping him up and never, ever laying him flat, and it's helped so much. He's still spitting up, but that's to be expected. Monday night was rough.. I'm assuming he had gas and he was up ALL night, and he was cranky Tuesday too. It was exhausting, but last night he slept good and he's a lot better today. Back to his happy self =) All I can say is that if you feel like something may be wrong with your baby, it probably is. I know babies cry, but not that much.. I shouldn't be wanting to pull my hair out every single day. Also, because of his reflux, I have to feed him less milk, but more often. If I wait too long to feed him, and he's screaming, by the time I whip a boob out (sorry for the bluntness of that), he will spit half of it back up. Lauren and Delaney got here last friday and stayed until monday. It was SO hard telling them bye, but it was such a great visit! I miss them sooo much. Delaney is so big! I can't wait to see them and everyone in VA in July!