Presenting....

If you are pregnant... you may want to wait to read this story.
Born at 35 weeks 4 days. This is my perfect little angel, Connor Daniel Hill.
          I wish I could start this post with a cute little story of how I had my little bundle of perfection, but that would be a lie. I wouldn't trade my little boy for less pain, trauma, or anything in the world. He is everything I have EVER dreamed of and more. I cannot stop staring at his pictures, and when I do get to see him, I can't stop staring at him. He's just perfect.

        On April 25th, Adam and I got ready and we went to the doctor for my routine check up. I was going to start having an appointment every week! When we got there, I told the doctor about the few dizzy spells and headaches I had been getting. I didn't think much of it, but she said my blood pressure was high, so she sent me to Labor and Delivery for observation. They observed me for a while, and then sent me home on bedrest. When we got home, Adam went off to run some errands, and I stayed at home, obviously. Well, I started to feel a little strange. I got more dizzy and felt nauseous, so we called my OB and she told us to go to L&D, so we grabbed my bag and left... but we didn't think we needed anything else. We got to the hospital, and the nurses were quick to have me change and hooked me up to a blood pressure cuff and started an IV. My BP was really high... and I was having shortness of breath. They quickly sent me to a catscan, but the results came back inconclusive. However, the doctor thought I had a pulminary embolism (blood clot) in my lungs. After the results came back that I had pre-eclampsia, the OB and doctor decided Connor needed to come out, and he needed to come out soon. So, a couple of hours later, I was rushed into emergency C-Section and then I was told that I would go into ICU because they wanted to put me on blood thinners incase I did have a clot b/c it would help me pass the clot. I was SOO upset. This meant that I would be separated from my sweet baby.. he was headed into the NICU. Adam and I cried together, and then we got ready for what would be the scariest birth and 3 days we would ever experience up to this point in our lives. Connor arrived shortly after I went in for the c-section, at 6:24 p.m. on Tuesday April 26, 2011. We were able to see him and I immediately heard him screaming! He has quite the set of lungs. They cleaned him up and Adam went with the nursers to weigh Connor and get tests done. I was sewn up and then wheeled away into ICU. I was fine. That night I was texting people and posting pics online of my adorable baby! The next morning I woke up and was feeling fine, but that wouldn't last for long. Adam had gone home Tuesday night because my mom flew in at about 2 a.m.! Wednesday morning I was sitting in the hospital bed, and my doctor said that she was going to go ahead and move me to postpartum on floor 2 b/c I was doing great.. then I passed a huge clot.. I thought something had popped out.. like a catheter, but it wasn't a catheter... Then I told the nurse I wasn't feeling well... She reached to hand me the puke bucket, and when she turned around I was seizing. I woke up to her and my mom screaming "LAUREN!!! LAUREN!" Then, I saw Adam come in. The nurses then said, "you are not going anywhere..." That was just the beginning of that day... The blood thinners that they had given me to thin out my already thin blood were working, and it wasn't a good thing. I passed out and seized atleast 5 times, and I knew when I was about to seize every time. My blood pressure would drop and that was it. I lost way too much blood. I would look at mom and Adam and say, "It's going to happen again.." Terrifying. Why was this happening to me?! These things aren't supposed to happen anymore. They stopped the blood thinners I was on and started blood transfusions, but it wasn't working fast enough, and I kept fading out... I saw the light, and I will never forget it. Finally, one of the doctors came in after my blood pressure dropped to 60/30 and explained to me that if there was a blood clot, I had a 50/50 chance of living, but we had to concentrate on my blood loss. I looked at mom and Adam and said, "I believe in God and trust in him, but I'm not ready to leave yet...." I have never been more scared in my life. We all 3 cried and cried. I prayed, then, the doctor started a central line into my neck, and we waited for the blood to quickly enter my system. 8 pints later, I was feeling like a new person. The doctor got upset b/c I hadn't gotten a chance to hold Connor, so he got Adam to go talk to the nursers on the L&D floor. A few minutes later, my baby was in my arms. I will post the video, but it was the most emotional moment of my life. How tiny and gorgeous and perfect this one little person was... he was what I was fighting for, and I wasn't going to give up. He needs his mommy. Kathy, my mother in law got here Wednesday night also, and I am so glad she was here for us. I didn't sleep much that night, in fact, I only really slept for the first time since Monday, last night. Last night I slept for 8 hours! It was amazing. After 8 pints of blood, it was decided that I needed 2 more pints yesterday because the blood tests hadn't caught up to the blood that I had lost. So, all in all, I had 10 pints of blood pumped back into my body. I didn't get to see Connor yesterday, but today I was told I would be moving down to the postpartum floor! I didn't need to be in ICU anymore. I had a good day today. I pumped a total of 10 mL of breast milk. It may not seem like much, but that is good for the trauma my body has been through. I went for a walk too, and I got up and sat in the chair. Then, we moved down to the postpartum floor, and I have spent as much time as possible with my sweet Connor. I'm terrified I'm going to end up back in the ICU, but I'm being as optimistic as I can. Through all of this, Adam has been amazing. I married the best man I have ever met. He has taken such good care of me and our little man. He has helped bathe me and he has spent as much time as he can with Connor. I love this man, and I can't imagine my life without him. The birth of Connor was such a traumatizing experience, but like I said before, I wouldn't trade it for the world. Out of it all, came the best gift of my life. He's doing great. He's not eating like I want him to, but we are working on it. He's grumpy and hates all the stuff he's hooked up to. But he's going to come home soon enough, and I cannot wait to start a life with my perfect little family. Connor is gorgeous, and he is all mine...

36 weeks...

 

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    36 weeks almost... we finally finished the nursery! YAY, but I'm so frustrated.  I went to the doctor today not expecting much. I just figured they would check to see if I'm dialated, which I'm not, and check on Connor. Well, I've been feeling dizzy for the past few days and have had some headaches, so I mentioned it to the doctor. She took my blood pressure and it was 140/90 which is high, so she sent me over to the hospital to get blood work done and an ultrasound. I figured they would just do it quickly. No. I was there for about 2 hours. They hooked me up to monitors and put me in the observation room. My blood pressure didn't change, but Connor is okay. They did an ultrasound, and he is already measuring 7 lb 15 oz and is measuring about 41 weeks. Now, I've been basing my weeks off of my 1st appointment which makes me 36 weeks tomorrow. My doctors are basing my weeks off of my last menstrual period which only puts me at 35 weeks 3 days. If that's the case, Connor is measuring almost 6 weeks ahead of what he should be. Which is insane. They also checked to see if he was practicing his breathing in case they do need to take him early, and he is. I saw his diaphragm moving. Obviously he isn't breathing but he's practicing, which is good. After the ultrasound, the nurse came in and said "good news is you get to go home.. bad news is you're on bedrest." I can only get up to pee and take quick showers. I'm not good at doing what I'm told. I'm already miserable. The house is a mess, and I just want to be able to do stuff. I really hope next week my blood pressure is better or they decide to induce me. I don't want to be induced too early, but he's healthy and that's all I want. I feel like crying... I don't understand 1. why I have such an insanely large baby, and 2. why I have high blood pressure. I'm a healthy person!! wth?! I'll update next week.

**How far along? 36 weeks!

**Total weight gain/loss: 30 somethin' lbs.

**How Big is Baby?: Uhm... he's measuring 7 lb 15 oz and is about 19 inches long.

**Maternity clothes? Will be in sweats all week..

**Stretch marks? Not yet!

**Sleep: No.

**Best moment this week: Finding out Connor is healthy...

**Movement: Yep

**Food cravings: Water.

**Gender: sweet boy <3

**Labor Signs: BH, but nothing serious.

**Belly Button in or out? In!

**What I am looking forward to: My appt. on Monday to find out what's going on!

35 weeks!!!

          So, here I am with 4 weeks or LESS left. Yesterday, I organized and cleaned Connor's room, and I washed some of his clothes! His nursery looks so cute. I ordered an adorable wall decal since I don't think we can paint, so once that comes in I'll post pics! I'm getting really excited. I went through an anxious phase... So, all you mommy-to-be's listen up! From weeks 30-34 I was pretty down. I had no energy, and I was getting extremely anxious. The problem was that I wasn't talking to anyone about it, and I was taking it out on poor Adam. Well, we finally talked about it just to find out that he was feeling the same. I was worried if I'm going to be a good mom, and just worried in general. I still feel anxious, which is normal, but I'm getting so excited about Connor's arrival! I think my biggest mistake over the past few weeks was not sharing everything I felt with Adam. So, if I can give any advice right now, it would be to talk to your husband and tell him how you feel. If you don't feel like cooking for a week, don't cook for a week. Relax, but it's also important to get out and get some fresh air or get up and start on small projects. This week I feel much better.. I gave myself projects to do each day. Yesterday, I did alot... steam cleaned the carpets and got Connor's nursery together. Today, I am going to get groceries and run a few errands for Adam. I have things I need to get done, and I finally feel up to doing it! Yeah, I'm sure it is nesting, but I'll take it :) Beats the hell out of sitting on the couch all day feeling miserable! lol When I talk about doing all of these things, I'll have you know that I don't start on it until like noon.. haha but that's due to the lack of sleep I get at night. I wake up at 6, fall back asleep at 9 then wake up at 11! crap... oh well. better sleep a little before Connor gets here! Well next week I will have doctor updates!! We get to see Connor on the ultrasound, and they're checking me for Group B Strep and to see if I have dialated! I hope I've made a little progress, but I'm not countin' on it!

**How far along? 35 week! 4 weeks or less :)

**Total weight gain/loss: blahhhh.

**How Big is Baby?: He's about 6 lbs (but probably bigger.. we'll know next week!) & about 18 inches long!

**Maternity clothes? uhhh... wearing whatever fits. Which isn't much!

**Stretch marks? Not yet!

**Sleep: Not really.. I wake up at 6 and stay up until like 9 then fall back asleep til' noon. I'm worthless!

**Best moment this week: My burst of energy! lol

**Movement: Yep!

**Food cravings: Not really.

**Gender: sweet boy <3

**Labor Signs: I think I've had a few BH contractions.

**Belly Button in or out? In!

**What I am looking forward to: My appt. on Monday :)

34 weeks!!!!

    Well.. 34 weeks.. and getting bigger and bigger and bigger. I had a doctor's appointment yesterday, and the doctor told me "you have a big baby." No shite.. I'm also 5'2". The good news is that my platelet count is considered "normal" to the hospital here. The are 130,000 right now, but she said that my blood does take longer to clot, so they are going to keep an eye on me. BUT, I shouldn't have any trouble getting an epidural :) Even better news is that if Connor doesn't come on his own before, my doctor is inducing me at 39 weeks!! So, we have 5 or LESS weeks until Connor makes his big debut. I am so excited, but so nervous. I still feel like we have a lot to do before he comes, but in all honesty, we have all the necessary things we need for him. I put his swing together on Sunday, and it's so cute! So, yay for Connor almost being here! I am so achey and uncomfortable. My feet get swollen, heck, all of me gets swollen if I'm doing too much. If I lay flat on my back, I can't breathe. I huff and puff all night to get comfortable. I snore. I'm super huge. I have arthritis fingers.. and the list goes on! haha Adam and I are supposed to go to a wedding this weekend. It all kinda depends on him having to work a carwash this weekend. My doctor told me I could go as long as I'm not having contractions, to stop often and walk around, and to drink lots of water. I hope we can go.. I really would love to travel to Dallas. I'm not doing much these days.. I sit around and watch Netflix or lay out in my pool. Oh, today I took Adam's uniforms to the cleaners and picked up dog poop. Wow, exciting life. I can't wait to have a sweet baby to tend to :)

**How far along? 34 weeks! 5 or less to go!

**Total weight gain/loss: I don't even know or care anymore.

**How Big is Baby?: Connor is a little over 5 lbs. and about 18 inches long. According to my doctor, I have a big baby.

**Maternity clothes? Ugh.

**Stretch marks? No. I'm waiting.

**Sleep: huh??

**Best moment this week: Getting the news that if he's not here by 39 weeks, I'll be induced!

**Movement: He is like a shark in there.

**Food cravings: watermelon.

**Gender: sweet boy <3

**Labor Signs: I think I've had a few BH contractions.

**Belly Button in or out? In!

**What I am looking forward to: The month of May :)

33 Weeks!

   So, 33 weeks & holy back pain! My back has been killing me (probably because I rode the Harley with Adam). Also, you can call me Rollie Pollie Ollie. I roll around instead of sitting up like normal people, and I can't eat too much at once. Made that mistake tonight... we went to our favorite little restaurant we found. It's right on Lake Conroe and it has one bangin' pulled pork sandwich! YUM! I ate my sandwich, some fries, and cheesecake! Now, I feel like I'm going to barf.. and it doesn't help when Connor pokes me. He has dropped in the past couple of weeks. I posted a pic from when I noticed it, but this picture doesn't really make him look low since I have a shirt on. I don't mind the way I look in clothing, but I try not to look at myself in a mirror at other times.. yowza! Adam goes back to work Friday, and we are both ready to get back in that routine. I think it will help us feel more home. I can get on my cleanin' schedule and lay out in my pool! Yes, we got a pool today. It's not huge, but it's big enough for me and a couple others (length wise). I'm so happy. Now, I just gotta figure out how to keep it clean. I laid in it this afternoon and was in Hillbilly Heaven! I mean, it's a little whiskey tango, if you know what I mean, but it's gonna keep me happy. :) Anyway, I'm just so ready for Connor to be here. I'm miserable and so grumpy these days... poor Adam. I go Monday for my next appointment! Every 2 weeks now until 36 weeks, and then it's every week. Yay!

**How far along? 33 weeks! Hopefully 7 or less to go!

**Total weight gain/loss: +32 yayy :(

**How Big is Baby?: Connor is probably 4 lb 15 oz or so. And about 17 inches long. I'm expecting a short, chubby baby! :)

**Maternity clothes? Sure.. lol

**Stretch marks? No.. but i'm waiting for the sprouts!

**Sleep: Omg.. I am up every hour to pee.. and I literally have to roll my fat ass out of bed. Oh, and I'm snoring like an old man apparently. How embarrassing... I didn't believe Adam until I woke myself up last night!

**Best moment this week: We got me a pool!!

**Movement: He loves to jab me & stays on my right side. It's funny.

**Food cravings: Pulled pork!

**Gender: sweet boy <3

**Labor Signs: My back has been KILLING me, but I don't think it's early signs.. just extra weight.

**Belly Button in or out? It's still in!

**What I am looking forward to: Finishing Connor's nursery and preparing for the little guy to get here!