Presenting....

If you are pregnant... you may want to wait to read this story.
Born at 35 weeks 4 days. This is my perfect little angel, Connor Daniel Hill.
          I wish I could start this post with a cute little story of how I had my little bundle of perfection, but that would be a lie. I wouldn't trade my little boy for less pain, trauma, or anything in the world. He is everything I have EVER dreamed of and more. I cannot stop staring at his pictures, and when I do get to see him, I can't stop staring at him. He's just perfect.

        On April 25th, Adam and I got ready and we went to the doctor for my routine check up. I was going to start having an appointment every week! When we got there, I told the doctor about the few dizzy spells and headaches I had been getting. I didn't think much of it, but she said my blood pressure was high, so she sent me to Labor and Delivery for observation. They observed me for a while, and then sent me home on bedrest. When we got home, Adam went off to run some errands, and I stayed at home, obviously. Well, I started to feel a little strange. I got more dizzy and felt nauseous, so we called my OB and she told us to go to L&D, so we grabbed my bag and left... but we didn't think we needed anything else. We got to the hospital, and the nurses were quick to have me change and hooked me up to a blood pressure cuff and started an IV. My BP was really high... and I was having shortness of breath. They quickly sent me to a catscan, but the results came back inconclusive. However, the doctor thought I had a pulminary embolism (blood clot) in my lungs. After the results came back that I had pre-eclampsia, the OB and doctor decided Connor needed to come out, and he needed to come out soon. So, a couple of hours later, I was rushed into emergency C-Section and then I was told that I would go into ICU because they wanted to put me on blood thinners incase I did have a clot b/c it would help me pass the clot. I was SOO upset. This meant that I would be separated from my sweet baby.. he was headed into the NICU. Adam and I cried together, and then we got ready for what would be the scariest birth and 3 days we would ever experience up to this point in our lives. Connor arrived shortly after I went in for the c-section, at 6:24 p.m. on Tuesday April 26, 2011. We were able to see him and I immediately heard him screaming! He has quite the set of lungs. They cleaned him up and Adam went with the nursers to weigh Connor and get tests done. I was sewn up and then wheeled away into ICU. I was fine. That night I was texting people and posting pics online of my adorable baby! The next morning I woke up and was feeling fine, but that wouldn't last for long. Adam had gone home Tuesday night because my mom flew in at about 2 a.m.! Wednesday morning I was sitting in the hospital bed, and my doctor said that she was going to go ahead and move me to postpartum on floor 2 b/c I was doing great.. then I passed a huge clot.. I thought something had popped out.. like a catheter, but it wasn't a catheter... Then I told the nurse I wasn't feeling well... She reached to hand me the puke bucket, and when she turned around I was seizing. I woke up to her and my mom screaming "LAUREN!!! LAUREN!" Then, I saw Adam come in. The nurses then said, "you are not going anywhere..." That was just the beginning of that day... The blood thinners that they had given me to thin out my already thin blood were working, and it wasn't a good thing. I passed out and seized atleast 5 times, and I knew when I was about to seize every time. My blood pressure would drop and that was it. I lost way too much blood. I would look at mom and Adam and say, "It's going to happen again.." Terrifying. Why was this happening to me?! These things aren't supposed to happen anymore. They stopped the blood thinners I was on and started blood transfusions, but it wasn't working fast enough, and I kept fading out... I saw the light, and I will never forget it. Finally, one of the doctors came in after my blood pressure dropped to 60/30 and explained to me that if there was a blood clot, I had a 50/50 chance of living, but we had to concentrate on my blood loss. I looked at mom and Adam and said, "I believe in God and trust in him, but I'm not ready to leave yet...." I have never been more scared in my life. We all 3 cried and cried. I prayed, then, the doctor started a central line into my neck, and we waited for the blood to quickly enter my system. 8 pints later, I was feeling like a new person. The doctor got upset b/c I hadn't gotten a chance to hold Connor, so he got Adam to go talk to the nursers on the L&D floor. A few minutes later, my baby was in my arms. I will post the video, but it was the most emotional moment of my life. How tiny and gorgeous and perfect this one little person was... he was what I was fighting for, and I wasn't going to give up. He needs his mommy. Kathy, my mother in law got here Wednesday night also, and I am so glad she was here for us. I didn't sleep much that night, in fact, I only really slept for the first time since Monday, last night. Last night I slept for 8 hours! It was amazing. After 8 pints of blood, it was decided that I needed 2 more pints yesterday because the blood tests hadn't caught up to the blood that I had lost. So, all in all, I had 10 pints of blood pumped back into my body. I didn't get to see Connor yesterday, but today I was told I would be moving down to the postpartum floor! I didn't need to be in ICU anymore. I had a good day today. I pumped a total of 10 mL of breast milk. It may not seem like much, but that is good for the trauma my body has been through. I went for a walk too, and I got up and sat in the chair. Then, we moved down to the postpartum floor, and I have spent as much time as possible with my sweet Connor. I'm terrified I'm going to end up back in the ICU, but I'm being as optimistic as I can. Through all of this, Adam has been amazing. I married the best man I have ever met. He has taken such good care of me and our little man. He has helped bathe me and he has spent as much time as he can with Connor. I love this man, and I can't imagine my life without him. The birth of Connor was such a traumatizing experience, but like I said before, I wouldn't trade it for the world. Out of it all, came the best gift of my life. He's doing great. He's not eating like I want him to, but we are working on it. He's grumpy and hates all the stuff he's hooked up to. But he's going to come home soon enough, and I cannot wait to start a life with my perfect little family. Connor is gorgeous, and he is all mine...